Misery Loves Company
by Tutorgirl92
Summary: What would have happened, if Blair hadn't taken the plane to Tuscany and instead gone back to get Chuck? Completeted!
1. Chapter 1

**AN**: So pleaseee bare with me, this is my first Gossip Girl fanfic, and I'm extreamly hesistant about posting it, and without the vote of confidence of my lovely I probably wouldn't be posting this, lol. SO if you wanna see another chapter just hit the review button and let me know, because as of now I have no idea what I'm doing.

She didn't know what had told her to go back to the penthouse, maybe it was the fact she didn't want to fly without him, or maybe it was because the scarf he'd secretly hidden in her bag smelt just like him, cigerette smoke and the ritzy colonge he used. None the less, she couldn't just take off for Tuscany without him, the baked cookies the ladies on the plane made weren't as good as him. Never had she expected to hear the moaning from his bedroom when she'd walked in, never. She'd been in love before that was a given...but never anything like what she had with Chuck. He was like a blanket, a warm cashmire blanket wrapped tightly around her to keep her safe and protected, and in the blink of an eye, that security had been ripped out from around her, the pain she felt in her heart in that one instance was like she never felt before, she was motionless and numb.

Just looking at the pencil thin blond in _his _bed, made her feel fat. She'd thought she'd gotten past feeling that, but at that single moment she realized she'd never be good enough. The whole situation just made her want to run to the nearest bathroom and shove her fingers down her throat and make the pain go away, She hadn't been good enough for Nate, and obviousley she wasn't good enough for him, if he went back to his old ways so quickly, and here she thought she'd 'changed' him for the better. He was the same old Chuck Bass, that would never change.

"Blair"

Was all he stammered out, his lips swollen and his hair a total mess, the usaul smirk on his face, no longer visible, as he propped himself up clearly unaware that this would have happened, the blond next to him face telling the whole story, for a Waldorf, she had to be stupider then everyone thought. Holding back the hot tears that were threatening to spill down her cheeks, she backed up slowly, taking one last look at a past lover before quickly running out of the penthouse, nearly pushing down her best friend down as she rushed through the lobby.

"B?" Serena questioned, as she looked at Nate, completely obvlious as to what had happened.

Blair didn't stop, she simply ran down the busy sidewalks of Manhatten, not caring if her new Jimmy Choos, heals broke. Her heart was broken and slowly tearing apart with each and every breath she took, she'd never felt pain like this. Never.

--

Storming into the apartment she through her bag and hat down to the ground, there was no way in hell she was leaving the country, even if it was to see her father. Rushing up the wirlwind of stairs, she slammed her door shut as she rushed into her room, leaning back on the closed door as the tears started to slowly slide down her cheeks, the pain only getting worse. Looking around her 'perfect' room, the remnants of her 'perfect' life surrounding every free space she felt a small fuse start to burn, the pain increasing with each passing minute, going to each nook and cranney she found herself throwing things off the shelves and dressers. It wasn't till she saw herself in the mirror, that she really saw herself. She was _fat_..and discusting. She could now see why Chuck had chosen the pencil thin blond, she wasn't as glamourous as Audrey, she was as plain and dull as Mia Farrow. Clenching her jaw she ran a hand through her now messed up long brown hair, she had to change her imperfections, she had to.

Slipping off her heals she rushed into her bathroom, slamming the door shut she turned on the facuet as high as it would go, hopeing to drown out any of her noises, and took her place infront of the toilet like she'd done plently of times before. _Perfection, beauty, Perfection, beauty, Perfection, beauty_, the two small words swirled around her hair as she continusly shoved her fingers down her throat, the acid burning at her throat each time.

"B?...Sweetie?" Serena said knocking on the bedroom door, completely and utterly worried about what had happened to her best friend early. Not getting an answer, she carefully pushed open the door, surprised at the content of Blairs room. She'd never seen it like this, never. Blair was always so neat and clean "Bla-" It wasn't till she heard the facuet in the bathroom, and complete silence that she knew everything deffenitly wasn't ok. Carefully approaching the bathroom door she knocked, not surpisnly not getting an answer. Chewing down on her lip she carefully opened the door, her heart stopping at what she saw. Blair, her Blair passed out on the floor in a huddle, a passed out huddle.

"Blair!"

She screeched as she dropped to her knees, taking her best friend in her arms. She was cold and pale, her face sweaty, and balmy. How could she not have seen it? Her best friend in so much pain, that she didn't know a thing about.

"Oh B..." She murmred softly, holding her close "It's gonna be ok...I promise.


	2. Chapter 2

**AN**: I majorly love you all for your reviews, it majorly gives me the inspiration to keep going. I'm not sure how many more chapters they'll be, but I do know chances are they'll be a sequal. Keep reviewing!

--

This was her fault, it had to be. If she hadn't been so damn wrapped up in her own pety problems her best friend wouldn't be such a wreck, at the moment she more then despised Georgina and Dan, how could she not have noticed? How?...Then again Blair hid things well, she'd just seemed so happy that morning as the two had packed, now she laid in bed as a huddled mass, her face as white as a sheet, she wasn't the Blair Waldorf they all knew, she was suddenly so changed. Shifting in the bed, she continued to rub her head, Blair was out cold and she was sure she'd be like that for a while. Serenea was absoutely certain she'd taken something before her 'spell', as Eleanore had called it back when it had first reared it's ugly head.

Glancing over at the nightstand she sighed seeing and old picture of the two, they'd been so close. Beyond the best of friends, and now she didn't even know what was going on in her best friends life, or why she was back to her old ways, it was all so foreign and surreal. Blair had always been the strong one, who refused to let anyone see her cry or stumble. Hell she'd taken care of Serena most nights during her 'wild' streak. Never in a million years did she think the roles would be reversed and she'd be the one nursing Blair back to health.

"Oh Blair" She murmered softly "What is going on, why couldn't you have come to me?"

She'd called Nate, not knowing quiet was else to do. She wouldn't dare call Eleanore, Blair would be straight to Ostroph somplace Serena knew very well Blair wouldn't be able to handle, it was difficult to see Eric there but Blair...that was un-fathomable. Glancing up from the mess of brown hair in her lap, she heard the doorknob turn and prayed to God it wasn't Dorota or possibly someone else who could rat them out.

"Serena?...oh God" He muttered out as soon as he saw the room and then the huddled mass on the bed that lay in Serenas lap "What...what happened?" he stuttered quickly walking over to the bed "is she alright??"

"I don't know" Serena replied with a sigh "I found her passed out in the bathroom...Nate I don't know what or if she took anything...all I know is...she's back to her old ways."

Sitting down on the edge of the bed, he rested his head in his hands, he knew straight off the bat it had to be Chuck, who else had such a power over her, he'd lost that power over her a long time ago. They where 'destined' to be together and he blew it. Instead he'd let her flal into the hands of Chuck, screw if they where best friends, he should have known better "...do you...do you have any idea...why?"

Chewing on her thumbnail she shook her head looking back down at her best friend "...she was at the palace earlier...she ran out pretty upset...I..I don't know why though...I don't know what to do Nate."

"It's Chuck" He said coldly, getting up "It's gotta be, it has to be. It is!"

"Hush!" Serena stammered glaring up at him "Do you really want her to wake up right now?!...Because seriously if she does, we're both screwed."

Pacing the room, he ran a hand over his face, the anger only escalating in him "He did something to her Serena, you know he did!"

"We don't know anything Nate! Now please...I'm sorry but just go. Until you can calm down, I don't want her waking up to this. Please Nate" She begged with pleading eyes "please"

"I'll be damned if I let him hurt her Serena, she's our best friend. And I'll be damned if I let him hurt her!"

"Do what you have to Nate" She sighed "...I don't wanna lose her again, like we did back then."

--

How could he have been so stupid, Blair was the best damn thing that had ever came into his life...and he'd just ruined it. Fighting for so long and so hard to get her back, and in an instant he lost it. The pained look on her face, kept flashing back and forth in his head, like an old movie. He had to be stupid, it must have been the high amounts of liquor his mother had drank before she'd had him. Rubbing his face he looked over at the blond standing in the doorway, she sickened him, she'd helped him to lose the most important thing in his life. Blair, his blair. She was far more important to him, then any amount of money in the world. "Get out" He mumbled in a growl "I don't ever wanna see you again, do you hear me?!" He spat as he stood up "Your going to let Lily know you can't help her out with the re-decorating! Is that understood!?" Chuck Bass had finally snapped, something he rarely did unless it was worth fighting for, and Blair Waldorf was certainley worth fighting for.

--

She wasn't ready to open her eyes yet, her head ached, and her throat was raw. She could smell sandlewood and the weight on the bed, and she knew her best friend had found her. The pain in her heart seemed to escelate with each continuous breath she took. Why had Serena found her? Why couldn't she have just died on that cold tiled floor? Anything was better then the pain that held its home in her heart. Opening her eyes slowly, she winced as the bright light streaming in from the window attacked her. This was worse then a hangover, but she supposed this was what heartbreak really felt like.

Turning onto her side, she sighed looking up at Serena, already feeling her eyes start to well up. Feeling the movement of the bed, Serena knew this was the moment of truth, looking down at Blair, seeing the tears already starting to well in her eyes, she knew Nate was right. It'd been Chuck, Chuck had done this to her best friend. Putting on a small smile she wrapped her arms tightly around Blair as she sunked down into the bed, pulling her close "let it out B" she whispered softly into her ear "i'm not going anywhere, just let it out"

That was all Blair really needed as the tears slid down her cheeks, holding onto Serena tightly as the sobs racked her body. This pain was far more then she could bare, she never imagned Audrey having to deal with this, it was just something she couldn't fathom, the pain in her heart she couldn't believe anyone had gone through and survived, it was so incociveable. Looking up at Serena she chewed down on her lip "...I'm not good enough...I'm not S...I'm not" She cried out.

"Don't say that, don't. Blair you are my best friend, and one of the most deserving people I know" She said wiping her cheeks off "he's not worth it...he's not"

"...He slept with someone else S...he slept with someone else!"

Serena had known all along that it was bad, but never did she think it was this bad. Chuck was an asshole yes, but she'd never think he'd go as far to cheat on Blair, they'd just seemed so in love, they'd all been stupid enough to think he changed. Nate was right, then again he usaully was. Speechless she kissed the top of her head, not responding, it'd be easiest to hold her best friend and let her, just let it out. One thing was for certain...it was going to be a long night.


	3. Chapter 3

**An: **As always thank you so much for the kind reviews, sorry it took me so long to get up a new chapter, I think you'll really enjoy this one!

--

Why wasn't she good enough? What did she not have, that every other girl in Manhatten did have? Looking in the mirror, Blair couldn't help but scowl at herself, she was simply a blimp, no wonder Chuck had done the things he'd done, she might have been a Waldorf, but she held none of the beauty traits. Running her hand over what most would call a flat stomache, she cringed. She was fat, no matter what she did, it just wouldn't go away. She wasn't good enough for him, it was plain and simple, he wanted a _thin_ girl, not someone as beastily as herself. Clenching her jaw, her swallowed hard, tempted to rush into the bathroom and lose any contents that existed in her stomach, if there was anything that is.

Serena hadn't left her side in 3days, she'd been forced to sneak down to the guest bedroom, when she was out cold to lose the contents of her stomach, or steal some of her mothers numerous pills. It didn't matter, Eleanore was out in California, by the time she'd get back she'd have forgotten the amount of pills that where in each of the orange plastic containers.

Closing her door, she quickly pinned her hair up and walked into her bathroom, closing the door behind her as she turned on the shower. No longer was she using the facuet to hide her problems, it never seemed to drown out the pain she was in, the shower however did all the work. Kneeling against the cold tiled floor, she quickly shoved a finger down her throat and let all the contents of her stomach out multiple times, hot tears welling up in her eyes, as the acid burned at her throat, the images of Chuck and the _skinny_ blond, running rapid through her mind.

After she could no longer take the ache, she pulled herself up and walked over to the sink immedietely rinsing her mouth out, getting rid of the sourer taste that resided within each crevice. After downing to Laxpro, she turned off the shower water and quickly washed her face, hoping that once the pills kicked in she could sleep, and forget, though for Blair, there would be no such luck. Slowly opening the door she felt the sudden yet familiar dull ache as she saw none other then Serena sitting on the bed, arms crossed and a more then pissed off look on her face. Refusing to make eye contact, she stammed over to the other side of the bed and laid down, turning towards the opposite side, she could already feel the hot tears in the corners of her eyes starting to form, she wasn't ready for another lecture, she was already hurting far to much.

"This needs to stop" Serena muttered out of the blue, after a good minute and a half of silence, her normal soft and subduded voice now rigid and stiffened. "Blair...he's just not worth it...he's Chuck Bass for god sakes...Chuck fucking Bass!...he's an asshole, always has been, and always will be. Why the hell can't you just see that?!"

"For the same reason, that you can't see Dan is nothing but a low life, from Brooklyn" Blair replied calmly, not even bothering to turn around, she was stubborn as mule. She wouldn't give in to Serena, she couldn't. She had to put up her barriers and refuse to let them all see her cry again. "...except Dan...probably wouldn't do this to you...nor would Nate" She said the sadness becoming evident in her voice "I had to pick the one guy who would...because I fell in love."

--

He'd hadn't been sober in days, nor had he left the pent house. His favorite scotch was heavy on his breath, it was his fault that he was in this situation, he just had to listen to Bart...if he hadn't...then he and Blair would be laying in bed, in Tuscany right now. Not avoiding one another like the plague, then again he really didn't know how to handle it, but knowing Blair she was either doing of one of two things, holding it in, pretending as though nothing happened, the way she'd done when Serena had returned or was doing the same thing he was doing, and drinking away her sorrows, it was the things that he wasn't sure if she was doing or not that was worrying him. Blair had this nack about her, and most times she hid when she hurting the most, doing stupid things to take away her pain without anyone knowing it. It was only when she truly hurt that her problems would start to surface and their 'gang' knew they needed to intervine, though now he knew if there was a problem, he'd be the absolute last person to know about it.

A sudden knock pulled him out of his thoughts, downing the rest of the contents from the glass, he got got up straggling to the door surprised to see none other then Nate and Serena, the last two people on earth he wanted to see, the last two people that he knew that wanted to see him. Leaning against the door, he could feel the effects of a hangover starting to come onto him, but he had to play it cool, if he didn't chances were he'd ball like a baby, and Chuck Bass, didn't ball. Not for anyone except..._her_.

"Nathanial...Sis" He mustered out in one of his best fake voices, a slick grin across his face

"You bast-" Nate yelled as he went to punch Chuck, Serena quickly intervinging and stopping him in time. "Do you have any fucking idea!?" He spat "Do you?!"

"Nate!" Serena yelled, her normal blue cheery eyes, turning into an icy glaze. "This is not going to help, it'll only make things worse."

Good old Serena Van der Woodsen, Chuck thought. She'd deffenitly changed her ways over the years, ever since coming back from boarding school, she'd been a completely different person in Blairs time of need for once the 'mature' one. Then again he supposed that's what best friends did for one another, him and Nate, yes they where friends, at one point best friend..but after Blair, they'd never be able to go back to the way they were, never.

"How...how is she?" He asked cautiously, as the two walked in.

"How the hell do you think she is?!" Nate once again spat at him, not even thinking about backing down. Blair...he loved Blair, and for him to just do this to her without any thought..it wasn't exceptable, it just wasn't.

"Nate...I think it'd be best if you...go make yourself a drink...or go get some air...please, your really not helping." Serena said calmly, as she sat down on the couch, crossing her legs in a posied sort of way "Please."

Reluctantly, Nate quickly left the penthouse, knowing very well that Serena was right. If he stayed any longer, chances are he wouldn't have been able to hold himself back, and one if not both of them would either wind up in the emergency room or down at the pricinct.

"...how could you do this Chuck?" Serena asked coldly, once she knew Nate was far away from hearing range "...do you have any idea...of what this is doing to her?" She questioned "I've never seen her like this, never...she's..she's so distraught, do you have any idea, do you!?"

"...I don't know what happened...Bart...he started telling me how everything would be different after this summer...we'd be different...the next thing I knew..."

"Blair was walking in on you two?...Chuck, do you have any idea how deeply in love with you that girl is? She destroyed her room, she's destroying herself. It's only a matter of time before she does something even stupider, and they'll be nothing we can do then, she's heartbroken Chuck, plain and simple."

"I never meant to hurt her Serena, you have to understand that!"

"But you did Chuck...but you did" She shook her head "Not even Nate could do what you did to her, she's never been like this before, I want my best friend back Chuck, I want my best friend back!"

"What am I suppose to do? Huh, huh?!" He spat standing up as he walked over to the liqour cabinent, that he was sure was near empty by now "I fucking love her! That girl is the best fucking thing that ever happened to me!"

"Then show her that!...You claim you love her...but yet you stay in here and get drunk, wasted and god only knows what else. You have a problem you need to fix it! You need to fix it, or something stupid will happen, and it'll only be your fault" She yelled getting up "It'll be all your damn fault, getting wasted isn't going to help anything, and if it is...then your just the guy we warned her about." She said simply as she quickly left, slamming the door behind her.

--

Her heart was racing a mile a minute, and she couldn't stop shaking, she'd tried to vomit up the heaping amount of pills she'd taken, but it'd seem to do no good, strugging to catch her breath she eased herself down on her bed as she laid back. She missed him so badly, just plain and simple, she missed his touch and his kiss, his ora in general. The solid week they'd spent together had been amazing, the talked about everything and anything, just laid in one anothers arms. They'd done nothing big, just muttered simple I love you's, taking it slow, thats what they where doing, thats what they had to do. They had to make it work this time, they had nothing going against them, or making them go faster, taking it slow worked, but truthfully she thought it must not have, if he was able to spree so fast to another _girl_, she must have done something wrong.

Standing outside Serena and Nate stood, listening to their best friends sobs. It was just so incredibly rare to see Blair like this, Nate had remembered the last time he'd seen her like this was when her father had left, espically after how incredibly close they'd been. Glancing up at Serena he gave a small nod, as she gripped onto the doorknob, allowing the door to open. Blair didn't even flinch, just stayed in the heap on the bed that she was. Slowly the pair walked over to the bed, each taking a side of the bed as they crawled in with her, wrapping their arms around her, simply holding her.

They could feel the heat radiating off of her, and knew something wasn't alright. Her body was shaking and she clung to them like a frightned child. It was then they knew something truly wasn't right.

"Blair?" Nate mustered as he pulled back a little, looking closely at her. She wasn't ok, health wise, something wasn't right. A sudden reality sunk in when she started to uncontrolably shake, in seizure form, her eyes rolling back in her head the whites of her eyes starting to show. "Call 911, Serena, now!" He yelled as the small brunette continously flapped in his arms "It's ok, Blair..." He whispere into her ear "We're gonna get you help, it's gonna be alright."


	4. Chapter 4

**AN**: So I know it's been a while and I'm sooo sorry but the good news is, with school being over I'll be able to concentrate more and more on this story, although it only has a few chapters left. Rest assured though, you'll never see the ending coming, and there will be a sequal! So keep enjoying and sending those reviews.

* * *

Her heart was failing, she was 17 and her heart was failing?...It didn't seem real, it didn't seem plausible. At 17 you weren't suppose to be dieing, but it seemed that her years of Bulimia had finally caught up to her, the overdose had just sped it up, making the inevitable happen faster then it should. Eleanore hadn't called, nor had Serena or Nate called her, they hadn't done much after purswading Blair's doctors to tell her what was really going on. They were best friends, all 3 of them. Had been for years and now at the tender age of 17 that all would end in a flash. She hadn't woken up yet, and with the amount of drugs that had been carried out through her system they weren't sure she ever would, she was a fragile as a porcelain doll, breakable at a single tough.

Nate and Serena sat in the waiting room, debating on what to do. Should they call Chuck? That was the question they'd been debating on for hours the most, forget about her mother, no the love of her life instead. He'd want to know...it was his right to know, even if he screwed around with her fragile heart making it even weaker then it was. Chuck had to know, he'd kill them if he didn't find out before it was to late, if Blair was going to...die, they had to make peace with one another, it would only be fair to Chuck for when he had to go on after she was gone.

Picking her head up from Nate's shoulder, Serena softly wiped at her eyes, the tears had been flowing ever since they'd received the news and only since had started to cease. Looking over at Nate who seemed to be in his own little world, she gently placed a soft hand on his knee, waiting for him to glance over at her, make eye contact anything "We have to tell _him_" She whispered softly, her eyes searching for any emotion in his face.

"He's the reason she's here in the first place Serena" He said looking over at her, his eyes glazed over as he took in her features "...I'm not saying this wouldn't have occurred if he hadn't but...he led her to taking those pills Serena...it's his fault."

"And I'm not saying it is...but deep down you know they still love each other, he needs to be able to say..." Shutting her eyes tightly she found it impossible to say the final word, the word that meant her best friend would no longer be with her, she'd be on her own standing alone "goodbye" She whispered as a fresh batch of tears slid down her face.

Wiping away a few of the blonds stray tears he sighed "No Serena" He protested "We can't...seeing him would make things worse...it would just..."

"Nate" She sighed "You know I'm right..."

"Serena I can't...I can't face that prick, espically when I know hes the reason she's dieing"

"Then you stay with Blair" She said looking up from the spot she'd be staring at on the floor "...I'll go."

* * *

His jaw was still sore, and he was pretty sure he hadn't deserved the extent of the pain he was going through, but at the same time, he knew any time he put Blair in pain he deserved it back at him 10 times worse. Filling his tumbler back up with scotch he plopped down on the couch, his mind wandering. He hadn't heard from anyone in hours, and when he'd stopped by the palace, he found absolutely no one in the penthouse, not even Dortoa which was odd. Something in his gut told him something wasn't right, they wouldn't all just dissapear for no reason, espically when Serena had practically shoved it down his throat to go and apologize, though he knew Blair would never except it, he couldn't blame her though. His mind was fluttering as he looked around his sweet, images of them on every surface completely naked filling his mind, with Blair it was all different, it wasn't just sex. It was in the words of Humphrey, "Sex is like Art, you don't rush Art." Dan was right, with Blair he didn't wanna just screw and be done with it. He just wanted to lay inside of her and watch every emotion of her face, every time a speck sparkled in her eyes, or a smile came to her face, but now he'd never see that again, he'd never be able to experience the warmth that surrounded her on a daily basis.

Downing the rest of his Scotch, he circled the tumbler in his hand watching the crystal reflect in rainbow colors around the room, her scent was still floating around the suite. Pulling out of his thoughts to the door buzzer ringer, he got up dropping the glass, not really making much of a notice to it. He stumbled to the door and was more surprised to see none other then the familiar blond at his door.

"Sis...it's a pleasure as always" he said with a smirk moving to the side to let her in.

"Chuck I'm not here for pleasantries so just shut up" She said firmly and abruptly.

"Well pleasantries thats my specialtie around here..."

"It's Blair" She said simply as her eyes filled up with tears again "...she's sick Chuck, really sick"

He could feel his heart smash in his chest, there was no way he heard her right, no possible way...his Blair couldn't be sick.

"She's...dying..."

Dieing? He questioned to himself as clenched his jaw tightly, the words ripping through him slowly but steadily, it wasn't possible Blair was young and beautiful...she had a whole future in front of her very eyes. There was just no possible way this could be happening, not to him...and not to them.

* * *

"You certainly know how to scare every one Blair" Nate whispered with a small smile as he sat down next to her bed, taking her cold dainty hand, in his big warm one, hoping it'd do some good but knowing very well it wouldn't. "you've got everyone worried about you...I haven't seen Serena like this in...ever actually" He sighed "Come on Blair, open those eyes for me. You know you can, theres nothing to be afraid of, I'm Nate remember?"

It was useless he knew, her sleeping form probably hadn't heard a word he'd said but it was worth a try, for Blair anything was worth a try. Squeezing her hand, he pushed some of her brown hair back, it'd seemed to have become a mess with the days activities. Glancing up over at the door he hadn't even noticed her start to stir and open her famous eyes "Na-Nate" She coughed, trying to conclude how she'd wound up in the hard bed.

Glancing down, a small smile spread across his face as he moved closer to the bed squeezing her hand softly "I'm here sweetheart" He said softly gently rubbing her scalp, trying to get her to fully come about.

"W-what happened?" She barely got out, as she started to cough again, her eyes roughly getting use to the light again.

"...you took a lot of pills" He said softly "Alot...me and Serena we found you and rushed you here"

"My chest...hurts" She stumbled out "Nate it hurts" She got out with a gasp for air.

"Blair breath, come on" He coaxed standing up, still holding onto to her hand tightly "Breath for me Blair please" He begged "Please"

A coughing fit started to come about, as she wheezed for air to enter her lungs, although it didn't seem to be doing so, her face as white as a sheet.

"Doctor!" Nate started to yell not leaving her side for a moment "Doctor!"

"Nate" She coughed out, clutching onto his hand for dear life, the coughing only getting more violent with each desperate breath she took "Ch-Chuck..." She managed out, before she was thrown into the world of darkness once again.

* * *

Handing Chuck a small tumbler of water, Serena sat down cautiously next to him. She wasn't exactly thrilled to be in the same room with her, but for the sake of her best friend and her health she wasn't going to cause any more drama it wasn't a smart idea "take these" She said softly handing him 2 Lexpro, hoping they'd do something to calm his nerves, she'd been there a good 5minutes and he hadn't said a word since she had told him the news.

Downing the pills, he quickly drank down the cold liquid as he sat back, running his hands over his face still unable to grasp the words that Serena had said only moments earlier, it wasn't possible, it just wasn't, not his Blair, not **his** Blair.

"What happened" He mustered out, glancing over at her, his eyes no longer gleaming as they usually did "...how"

Taking a breath the blond looked up at him with a sigh "...It seems that her bulimia has finally caught up with her" She mustered out with yet another sigh "she's gone into heart failure."

"But she was fine a couple days ago..."

"...she downed a mixture of pills this afternoon..." She sighed "It weakened her heart even more then it was..."

"Is there any chance..."

Shaking her head she put a hand on his shoulder "They didn't say, though after they said the words...I sort of blocked out the rest...its mind numbing" She whispered.

"Why did you come?" He asked his voice hoarse as he looked up at her "...why tell me?"

"Because she loves you" she said simply as her cell started to go off, the familiar ring tone surrounding the room "Because you love her" She said once again picking up the phone "Hello?"

"Serena" Nate replied in a panic voice as he paced the hallway next to Blair's room.

"Nate?! Whats wrong?! What happened?!" She asked rapidly as she started to panic.

"I don't know...she woke up and just started coughing" He rambled "They won't tell me anything...they've been working on her for the past 10minutes, you need to get back down here"

"Alright" She nodded "I'm on my way" She said rushed hanging up as she quickly got up.

"Wha-what is" Chuck asked quickly as he watched her.

"Come on...we're going to the hospital, that was Nate, things aren't good, we both need to be up there right now!"

* * *

"Nate?!...Nate!?" Serena yelled as she ran down the ward where Blair's room was located, Chuck following suite behind her "Oh god what happened??" She asked getting increasingly worried.

"I-I don't know" He replied as he looked up at her "The doctor said he'd be out in a minute to talk to us...whats he doing here?" He asked glancing over at Chuck.

"Nate I had to bring him" She whispered "He deserves to be here"

Swolling hard he nodded as Blair's doctor walked over to them "Miss. Van der Woodsen, Mr. Archibald..." Sighed he shook his head "I'm afraid she's gotten worse...if she doesn't get a heart transplant within the next few hours...I'm afraid..."

"Oh god" Serena mustered as she clung onto Nate for dear life, as the sobs took over her body.

"...we've put her to the top of the doner list...but theres still no guarantee I'm afraid."

"Are we allowed to see her?" Chuck asked out of the blue as he looked away from Nate and Serena "Can we..."

Noticing the pained look in the boys odd, he nodded slowly "Take as long as you need" He said softly before walking away.

"Listen, I know you two don't think it's a good idea..but...I have to" He sighed "I can't let her go without knowing how much I love her first."

Looking up from the hysterical Serena in his arms, Nate nodded with a sigh "Tell her we love her" He said softly, before turning back to the blond.

* * *

She looked so peaceful, she was hooked up to oxygen and numerous other machines but yet, she still had such a peaceful glow about her. Cautiously walking over to the bed he felt his heart break, it wasn't fair, she was so young and beautiful, her life it wasn't ready to end, she still had so much to do, it couldn't end so soon, it couldn't. Leaning down he planted a soft kiss on her lips, careful of the many cords that surrounded her body "I love you bear" He whispered softly into her ear, he was only one of the few people that was allowed to call her that, and always knew it brought a smile to her face, though this time he new very well she couldn't hear him, though something inside him told she could "If I could take back what I did, just to have one more minute with you...one more day to hold you in my arms..." He sighed stroking some of her hair back "I'm so sorry, for everything. Your the first girl I ever fell in love with, and I wouldn't take any of it back for a second...and I'm gonna do everything in my power to make sure you open those beautiful eyes again...anything." He whispered

--


	5. Chapter 5

An: Once again, I'm soooo sorry I havn't updated in soo long, school and exams are finally are so now I'm free to write once again! Theres one more chapter left, then the sequel should go up shortly.

Enjoy!, I promise You'll never see the ending coming

* * *

**And I'd give up forever to touch you **

**'Cause I know that you feel me somehow **

**You're the closest to heaven that I'll ever be **

**And I don't want to go home right now**

"We...we have to do something...I'm not going to let her just die like this!" Chuck spat, kicking the soda machine located in the hallway hard.

"Chuck!" Nate practically yelled as he held onto Serena tightly, Dan had yet to shown up making him the sole care taker for the tall blond. "...your not helping, we know we have to do something, but unless she gets a heart...there's nothing we can do!."

"Its not fair!...shes so young...she...she wasn't suppose to go this way" Chuck stammered slowly sitting down in one of the uncomfortable little hospital chairs "..shes 17, not 71." He sighed "Its not her time, it isn't."

"What if it is?" Serena suddenly blurted out, unable to comprehend the fact that she did "...shes done and gone through more in her 17yrs then we have, bulimia, a gay father, an over bearing mother, queen Bee, gossip, scandal..." Clenching her jaw tightly she sniffled "She's my best friend, the thought of losing her scares the hell out of me...but what if theres nothing we can do?"

"Serena?" the sudden familiar voice filled the hallway, as the trio looked up and saw none other then cabbage patch "oh god Serena" He rushed towards her, his voice now more panicked.

"Dan!" Rushing out of Nate's arms, the blond quickly rushed over to none other then her own knight and shining armor, her tears making themselves known again as they poured down her cheeks.

"Shh, shh" He cooed as he held her tightly in his arms "Its ok baby, I'm here now...shh it's ok"

"But it's not Dan" She cried "Its really really not."

**And all I can taste is this moment  
And all I can breathe is your life  
'Cause sooner or later it's over  
I just don't want to miss you tonight**

It wasn't fair, it just wasn't. She was 17, she hadn't even begun to live her life, now it was being forced to end so suddenly? Had he known her bulimia had been so bad, he swore he would have done something, even if it meant moving into the Ostroph center with her. He didn't see their love, as just another high school romance. He'd scarcely admit it out loud but he saw them getting married, starting a family. Little Chucks running around driving Blair nuts as their father did, and little Blair's who couldn't get enough of their daddy...growing old together. Every other girl he'd ever been with had just been another conquest, Blair wasn't. She was it for him, she was the only one for him, and deep down he'd known it for years, never actually wanting to admit it because Nate had been the object of her affection.

**And I don't want the world to see me  
'Cause I don't think that they'd understand  
When everything's made to be broken  
I just want you to know who I am**

He would do anything for her...even die if he had to. She was the only girl, he'd even think about watching Juno with, or laying all day in bed, in nothing but a bathrobe and slippers. She made him want to take chances, and not just be the snotty rich little boy who would inherit millions when big Bart died, and probably waste it all away. With her, he saw a future, he saw a lifetime of memories. It just wasn't fair, she was far to young.

**And you can't fight the tears that ain't coming  
Or the moment of truth in your lies  
When everything feels like the movies  
Yeah you bleed just to know you're alive**

"She has to wake up Dan" Serena mumbled holding tightly onto Blair's small cold hand, while Dan had his arm carefully wrapped around her waist "I can't live the rest of my life without her...I just can't." She chocked.

"If I can remember clearly, she always states that she's a Waldorf" he replied squeezing her gently turning his eyes to the girl he loved "...she states it 99 of the time, and usually holds to it."

"Her hearts failing Dan...she needs a transplant."

"And she'll get one in time Serena" He answered softly, kissing the side of her head pulling her in close to him "she's as stubborn as a mule, and has far to much to live for...including her best friend. You won't lose her, I promise."

"...how can you be so sure?" She questioned resting her head on his chest with a sigh.

"Because I'm cabbage patch, and shes Waldorf" he replied simply.

**And I don't want the world to see me  
'Cause I don't think that they'd understand  
When everything's made to be broken  
I just want you to know who I am**

"B" Serena whispered softly, once Dan had left "..listen...I know you probably can't hear me...but...you need to come back to me..to us" She whispered "Me and Chuck will kill each other without you in between us...please Blair" She half begged squeezing her hand tightly "We need you, we need you so very very much...more then you can possibly understand.

**And I don't want the world to see me  
'Cause I don't think that they'd understand  
When everything's made to be broken  
I just want you to know who I am**

It was hours later when Chuck heard the news he was truly dreading. Her heart was now in total failure, if she didn't get a transplant in the next 24hrs...they'd lose her forever. Eleanore had finally been called, as it should have been done earlier and Lily had immediately rushed up to the hospital along with Jenny to be with Dan and Serena...Nate was...well he was beside himself.

Chuck hadn't returned to the hospital since then, he couldn't bring himself to come back into the hospital room to watch his beloved slip away, it was just to painful. He wouldn't allow her to go so soon, there was no way. She wasn't any where near the top of the list, unless her specific blood type was found in a transplant victim...the blood type the two of them miraculously seemed to share.

He'd never considered himself a hero...or anything of the sorts, but after all the pain he'd put her through in the past year, it was about time he put himself first for a change, even if it meant never getting to spend one single moment with her again, it was a selfless act of love that not many were ever given the chance to achieve, and now with one simple pull of the trigger, he'd be able to do so, and in the process give the love of his life, the world.

Holding up the small handgun, he knew it'd be over faster then he thought it up. She'd be able to enjoy and live her life, and for once maybe he wouldn't be known as selfish Chuck Bass...and she'd know deep down he truly always did love her, at no matter what the cost.

**And I don't want the world to see me  
'Cause I don't think that they'd understand  
When everything's made to be broken  
I just want you to know who I am**

"She's got one!" Nate exclaimed as he ran down the now semi-crowded hallway "She's got a heart...exact blood type and everything!...there gonna prep her in a few minutes, she's gonna live!"

"No way!" A simple erupted on Serena's face as she jumped up, jumping into the arms of her old friend "She's really gonna be ok?" She questioned with a smile "Like really really be ok??"

"Well..she's gonna need physical therapy and what not" he smiled "but she should be the Blair we know in a matter of weeks."

Turning to Dan, Serena seemed it impossible to stop smiling "you were right" She murmured, before capturing his lips in a passionate deep kiss "she's gonna be ok!" She smiled "...she's really really gonna be ok!"

**I just want you to know who I am  
I just want you to know who I am  
I just want you to know who I am**

Sitting back in one of the chairs in the waiting room, Serena smiled looking over at Dan. Everything was going to be perfect again, her and Dan were together, her best friend was no longer going to die. Everything was perfect...that is until she saw Lily walk slowly down the hallway her cheeks tear stained.

"Mom?" Serena questioned as she slowly stood up, afraid that it might be the worst news about her best friend "..Mom what is it?"

"...It's Chuck" Lily simply stated as the tears slid down her cheeks once again.


	6. Chapter 6

AN: Gasp the final chapter! Who would have ever saw that coming? This is the first story I've ever finished and I'm proud. I promised you'd never see the ending coming, and I guarantee you'll all hate me once you read but enjoy none the less! & Keep a look out for the sequel.

* * *

It was almost fitting that it rained the day Chuck Bass was laid out to rest, he'd never achieved a great accomplishment, but at the same time had given the people around him so much, even if it wasn't always of the best intentions. He'd sacrificed himself so that the one that he loved, could live and go on into life, a part of him always beating inside of her, he wasn't a hero you'd read in the comics or see in the movies, he was a silent hero, the kind that people truly remembered.

**And when it rains,  
On this side of town it touches, everything.  
Just say it again and mean it.  
We don't miss a thing.  
You made yourself a bed  
At the bottom of the blackest hole (blackest hole)  
And convinced yourself that  
It's not the reason you don't see the sun anymore**

She sat silently in the corner of the funeral parlor, as people crowded in left and right. She'd only been out of the hospital for a few days, and was still incredibly weak but had gone against everyone who had begged her not to, and gone to his funeral...after all it was her fault, or so she let herself believe. His heart was beating inside of her chest, he was the reason she was alive and not the one in the pine box, he was her life saver.

Glancing around she noticed the all to familiar faces, none of them knew Chuck though, they were just the endless socialites that had to be there, forced to because of their name. They didn't know him though, what a great man he must have been to take his own life to save that of another. Feeling the urge to cry once again, she looked up to see none other then the first person she'd seen when she woke up coming towards her, her best friend, all she truly had now.

It wasn't until she felt the tall blonds arm go around her, that she allowed herself to come unloose, let the tears once again slide down her cheeks, her heart aching for her lost lover, it wasn't fair, how was she suppose to go on without him?...he'd been her everything, yes she hated him at times for what he'd done to her but that seemed to have all taken place years ago, not only a few weeks prior, not now.

"I wanna go up" Blair murmured looking up at Serena "...I need to go up and see him" She whispered.

Serena knew very well that after having major transplant surgery that Blair coming today hadn't been the best of ideas, but she also knew her best friend needed to mourn correctly instead of holding it all in. Nodding she slowly stood up, giving the signal for Nate to come over and help her, although Blair could walk, she struggled finding herself out of breath quicker.

She could feel the stares as she slowly made her way up to the coffin that held her love, she knew if it wasn't for Serena and Nate holding onto her, she'd probably have collapsed ages ago. It wasn't until they reached the front of the room, and she saw his face, that it fully set in that he'd never come home to her.

"Oh chuck" She murmured, feeling her eyes start to tear up again "Oh come back to me please" She whispered running her hand along the soft fabric that lined the casket "I can't do this without you."

**And oh, oh, how could you do it?  
Oh I, I never saw it coming.  
Oh, oh, I need the ending.  
So why can't you stay  
Just long enough to explain?**

"As we commit our brother Chuck, to the ground" Were the priests final words as he closed his bible and back up from the casket "May he dwell in the house of the lord forever, Amen."

"_I'm never going to leave you Blair" He whispered softly into her ear "...You might not be able to see me, but I'll always be beating in your chest. Your the girl who changed me, your the girl I fell for...your the love of my life."_

It was just a simple dream she remembered from being unconscious, but now as she dwelled on it she realized it was his last message to her, a small portion of him coming back to her and telling her it'd be okay when he was gone, he'd never be to far away when she needed him.

"Blair sweetie" Serena whispered squeezing her hand softly "Blair..."

Watching the mahogany colored casket descend into the ground was far to much for her to handle, burying her head into her best friends shoulder, she felt the tears slide down her cheeks once again, not even bothering to control them. Once everyone had left, all the limos gone, it was just the three of them again, Dan had opted to stay away from the day, only being their when Serena needed him, and Bart and Lily had left almost immediately. The rain poured down hard on the small black umbrella that was over the three, it was truly time to say goodbye. Nate and Serena had already said their goodbyes, and for the sake of Blair had kept their emotions in tact, the last thing she needed was them to lose it at well, slowly helping her up from the chair that had been provided for her, they gently, slowly and carefully lead her back to his coffin, before it was completely submerged, into the ground.

Gently easing out of the grips of the two, she kneeled down slowly, putting a hand on top of the smooth curved wood.

"I love you" She whispered "You were my first, in so many different ways, you healed my heart in numerous ways as well. I love you Chuck Bass, I always will" She whispered placing a soft kiss on the smooth wood, letting the rose she'd been holding fall onto it "I'll never forget you" She whispered once more, before slowly getting up, going back into the arms of her best friends "Never."

**And when it rains,  
Will you always find an escape?  
Just running away,  
From all of the ones who love you,  
From everything.  
**

**

* * *

**AN: The song was 'when it rains' by paramore, I know its not the whole thing by the lyric site I used screwed me up majorly, so thats why its cut so short.


End file.
